


Don't tell Ava

by thisisgettinghard1432



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Blood and Injury, Canon Compliant, Comedy, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Post-Season/Series 03, it was really supposed to be a funny one but i can't escape the angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-24 09:07:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14352360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisisgettinghard1432/pseuds/thisisgettinghard1432
Summary: “You’re going to get shot!”“No, I’m not. It’s a good plan!”“Sara, for God’s sake!” Even through the holo-feed Sara could see Ava was starting to lose her patience. But Sara didn’t care. This was her team’s mission and even though she now and then called the Bureau for advice on tactics and plans, she was sure this one was going to work. Ava sighed, lowered her head and started to massage the bridge of her nose. “You mean to tell me, that you want to infiltrate the White House in 1963, posing as Jacqueline Kennedy to prevent one of the demons you let escape from eating JFK ten days before his actual death.”"Yes."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It was supposed to be a comedy piece.  
> It kind of still is.
> 
> Set after the season 3 finale, it really hurt not to include Amaya.

I.

“You’re going to get shot!”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are!”

“No, I’m not. It’s a good plan!”

“Sara, for God’s sake!” Even through the holo-feed Sara could see Ava was starting to lose her patience. But Sara didn’t care. This was her team’s mission and even though she now and then called the Bureau for advice on tactics and plans, she was sure this one was going to work. Ava sighed, lowered her head and started to massage the bridge of her nose. “You mean to tell me, that you want to infiltrate the White House in 1963, posing as Jacqueline Kennedy to prevent one of the demons _you let escape_ from eating JFK ten days before his actual death.”

“Yes," Sara was wearing a smug look on her face. "Then I kill the demon and prevent an aberration.”   _The plan was going to work_. They had already made John, Mick, Ray and Nate fake IDs to pose as security guards and to escort ‘Jackie’ to the Oval Office where they were _absolutely sure_ there was going to be a demon, that - at exactly 5:32pm on November 12, 1963 - was going to eat JFK. She was also going to wear big sunglasses and no one was going to actually see her anyway, since she was going to be surrounded by her towering teammates. It was an in – kill or capture, whatever was going to be fastest – and out kind of mission. Piece of cake.  

Ava looked up and raised an eyebrow. “You look nothing like Jacqueline Kennedy.”

“That’s not true, they do have the same killer brows.” Sara immediatly caught the sarcasm in Zari's voice, as the hacker had been siding with Ava since the first mention of their plan. She decided to ignore it and pretended to be taking the comment litterally. She looked straight at Ava and started to nod enthusiastically, obviously pleased with herself.

“She’s a brunette.”

“I’ll wear a wig.”

"She's got brown eyes."

"I'll be wearing sunglasses." 

“You’re at least two inches shorter!”

Sara’s mouth fell open. How dare she! She gritted her teeth and hissed through almost sealed lips. “ _Then_ , I guess I’ll have Gideon fabricate higher heels.” She was about done with the conversation and she could tell Ava was too.

The room went silent, as the five remaining Legends looked between her and her ‘ex-girlfriend now _something_ but _definitely_ not a girlfriend again… so soon… _yet_?’ as Sara had blurted out the other night, when Ava had asked what they were doing. The other, better, answer would have been “Having sex for the fourth time tonight?”, but from the look on Ava’s face Sara understood she was expecting a serious answer. A sincere answer that had only made things _worse_. Ava had picked up her clothes, muttered something about having a meeting early in the morning and had portaled away.

It had been a week and they hadn’t spoken about anything except work since then.

“ _Heels two inches higher will surely make the concealment more effective but could be impractical when facing a combat situation_.”

The metallic voice felt like a knife in the back. Gideon, of all! To betray her like that. “Thanks for your input, Gideon, but we are trying to _avoid_ combat,” she replied in an irritated tone. “ _For once_.” 

There was a small pause. Sara saw Ava glance at the watch on her wrist. 

“Well, I have a meeting in five minutes and it's obvious I’m not going to change your mind,” Ava began. “It seems, after all, that the Legends don’t need the Bureau’s assistance nor our advice.” She looked at Sara directly in the eyes. Despite the obvious annoyed look on her face, Sara could spot a hint of worry. As she looked ready to say goodbye, the Director’s expression’s softened. “Good luck, Captain.”

And just like that: she was gone. Again.

It seemed like the only thing they were good at doing those days was piss each other off and disappear.

Sara sighed.

She turned to her team, sending one last glance to the spot where Ava’s hologram had been just a few seconds earlier. Nate and Ray were giving her uncofortamble sympathetic looks, Zari was pretending to be playing on her phone, Wally stared awkwardly at his feet the second she turned around, while Mick was chugging on the fourth beer since the briefing had started fifteen minutes before. She smiled, went up to the controls and tapped on the mission report on one of the screens.

“Alright Legends, time to invite ourselves to a presidential dinner!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and the kudos! I hope you enjoy the next updates :)

II.

“Guys! Do you copy? We need backup!” Ray was shouting through the comms and he seemed worried. Worried Ray Palmer, usually optimist to a fault, was never a good sign. “Please, respond!”

“What’s happening, Ray?” Zari responded as fast as she could and, as she did, her eye caught a glimpse of something yellow, speeding off behind her.

“Er-”

“Guys!”

“It’s just…” Nate’s voice came in. His tone just as grave, possibly even worse than Ray's.  

With every passing second Zari’s heartbeat started to quicken. The last time the team had updated them on the situation, Sara had managed to pass security at 5:04 pm and they were all heading to the Oval Office. The President wasn’t supposed to enter his office until 5:30 pm, where there would be a very small, very short fight and – after that – he’d get, well, eaten. So, that had left them with almost twenty-five minutes to track down the demon, trap him and send him back to wherever, before JFK even had the chance to enter his office. 

Zari looked down at the controls: in 1963 D.C. it was now 5:26 pm. “Will anyone please answer! Wally’s on his way.”

For a few more moments, Zari heard nothing but the earpiece’s static. The channel was clearly open, but it didn’t look like anyone was about to answer. It was driving her nuts! She heard a few bits and sounds of a fight, maybe a few clangs and multiple shots. Definitely a roar and probably Ray screaming something.

“Gid-” She was starting to open her mouth to tell Gideon to execute the extraction plan when she heard a whoosh behind her. She turned around to the sight of Wally West in his Kid Flash suit, carrying a half-conscious Sara Lance. Blood was staining her pastel blue dress in more than one place and was dripping profusely on the bridge's floor. 

 Wally was looking at Zari with a mixture of concern and disbelief while trying to balance the injured woman. “Uhm… Sara got shot.”

 

 

              ***

 

After having appeared on the bridge with the injured Captain, Wally had carried Sara to the med bay and had left to extract the others one by one, leaving Sara in the capable hands of Gideon.

And Zari.

Zari. Brilliant hacktivist, who was used to dealing with cables and electronics and code but had no idea what to do with the bleeding human in front of her.

“Gideon, what do I do?” The concern in her voice was tangible. Zari looked down at the Captain: she had a big gash on her forehead, probably due to a claw or a blade, a large blood stain on her left shoulder and a slightly smaller one on her right side.

“ _The Captain seems to have sustained a mild concussion and two bullet wounds. I shall operate to remove the bullet that lodged itself between the left collarbone and shoulder blade as it seems to be the only wound that could prove to be life-threatening. In the meantime, Miss Tomaz, you_ could _help by applying pressure to the head wound as to minimize blood loss.”_

“Alright,” she muttered under her breath. She wasn’t really trying to acknowledge the AI, as much as she was trying to encourage herself. “Where do I find a sterile cloth.”

She was probably talking to herself, but the moment she said that, one appeared in the smaller fabricator they had in the med bay for medicine and first aid supplies. “Thanks, Gideon.”

_“You’re welcome, Miss Tomaz.”_

While Gideon’s miracle beam started its work on her shoulder, Zari applied pressure on the gash on Sara’s head, as it was bleeding way more profusely than the graze on her ribcage. The moment she made contact with Sara’s skin, the Captain’s eyes fluttered open. Her right arm shot up and she grabbed Zari’s wrist.

She looked terrified. She opened her mouth to talk, but Gideon interrupted her.

 _“Captain, I’d advise you not talk until I have operated on the multiple wounds you have sustained on the Jackie Kennedy mission. Which, by revising the timeline, it seems was successful despite the sloppy plan.”_ Zari could have sworn it looked like Sara was trying very hard to roll her eyes at the AI’s comment despite her condition. “ _I shall now administer a sedative to ease the pain and help you heal faster.”_

Sara was definitely fighting to stay awake.

Before giving in to the drugs and with what seemed like all her remaining strength, she whispered “Don’t tell Ava... please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess, I can't do comedy for more than one chapter.  
> I swear, the pain will pay off in the end.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the feeback!

III.

“What the hell happened?” Ava Sharpe was barging – not so unexpectedly since they had been the ones to contact her – onto the bridge of the Waverider. Still, the moment he heard the sound of the portal, Nate jumped back, startled. Hands behind her back, head held high, shoulders squared and icy gaze: the lady looked like she wanted to hit someone. _Hard_.

As the woman passed through the Time Courier portal, Nate caught a glimpse of a cozy apartment with dim lights and not the usual strikingly white walls of the Bureau. He also noticed right away that the Director wasn’t sporting her usual mean government stiff bun, nor her polyblend suit. Her hair was in a high ponytail and she was wearing a pair of grey sweatpants – that looked a bit too short for her height – and a baggy flannel. However, despite her casual attire, the ‘mean girl’ look on her face had him move back a couple of spaces, making him bump into Ray as he did so.

“ _Well?_ What the hell is _this_?” She hissed, holding up her phone.

Ugh. She looked super-pissed.

 

“Heeey, Ava! How are you? Why don’t you take a seat, so we can brief you properly?” Nate couldn’t see Ray, as he was standing right behind him, but from the quiver in his voice he thought that, maybe, he was just as afraid of the woman in front of them as he was.

While Zari was still with Sara in the med bay and Wally was cleaning up some messes in the White House (like rumors of an attempt on the President’s life ten days too early), the three men left on the bridge (mostly Nate and Ray, since Mick hadn’t really contributed to the conversation) had been arguing on how to best deal with the ‘Ava situation’.

Since Sara and Ava had started dating, they had all grown accustomed to the imposing presence of the Director of the Time Bureau onto the Waverider and, despite the initial friction, the crew had even started to actually _like_ her. While on duty, she remained serious and guarded, but during the downtime she sometimes took on the ship she had managed to show them her softer side and the whole team had soon found out that Ava Sharpe was not only smart and beautiful, but enjoyable and even _funny_. They all could see why Sara liked her so much. However, since the breakup, Ava had somehow reverted to her old, cold self and he had gone from sharing history trivia over coffee, to avoiding even the shortest briefing call with the woman.

Problem was: Ray had no intention of calling her either. That’s why, after discussing like the mature men they were for another fifteen to twenty minutes, they had settled on having Gideon send her a text, which read:

>   _Hi, Ava. How are you? We hope you are having a lovely time. We, the crew of the Waverider, wanted to let you know that the mission in 1963 was a success as the demon did not eat President Kennedy. We’ll have Sara contact you as soon as she regains consciousness. Have a good night, the Legends XO_

Gideon hadn’t liked the idea and suggested they wait for Zari to come back or even Sara to wake up, but, in the end, she reluctantly complied.

 

“Where’s Sara?” Somehow, Ava’s flaming glare seemed to burn straight through Nate’s face and into Ray’s eyes.

“Hey, there… _Director_.” Mick had avoided calling her ‘Hotcakes’ since Sara had started to show interest in the other woman and Nate had been very surprised by the amount of respect he had for their Captain and her former partner, but despite what he was calling you his tone always conveyed the feeling that he was either trying to hit you or hit _on_ you.

“Mister Rory, now is not the time. Tell me where Sara is righ-”

“Ava. Hi.” Zari walked in, moving closer to Nate.

At the sight of his teammate, Nate sighed in relief but then grew slightly concerned when he noticed her beige shirt stained with fresh crimson spots. Nate’s gaze turned to Ava and, from the way her eyes grew wider, he could see she had noticed them too. The Director began to scan the room, undoubtedly counting the Legends. The historian could see her do the math: Sara and Wally were the only ones missing from the bridge and everyone in there was unscathed. Also, from what they had told her earlier, the speedster wasn’t part of the original plan, so – unless they had changed it after notifying the Bureau – that blood was definitely Sara’s.

And Nate knew it was. He had seen it happen.

“Will anyone tell me what is going on?” Ava’s expression went from pissed off, to frustrated, to terrified in the span of a few seconds.

“Sara’s in the med bay,” Zari began in a calm and reassuring voice. “She’s going to be fine.” She added quickly, probably noticing the growing worry on the other woman’s face.

“ _Going to be_ …?” She was still composed, but she looked like she was going to puke, her jaw and fists clenched tight. She was obviously losing the last bit of patience she had left. “What happened?”  

Since he hadn’t really checked on Sara yet and wouldn’t know what to say, Nate turned to Zari, who responded to his questioning look by shaking her head. He interpreted it as a ‘Don’t say anything, I’ll handle it’ look.

“Everything was going according to plan,” when Ray started speaking, Zari turned around and glared at him, but he didn’t seem to notice. “We picked up John Constantine, so he would bring the right enchantment to banish the demon,” at the mention of the warlock’s name, Nate saw Ava tense every muscle in her body. She crossed her arms but stayed still. “After that, well, we… started out the plan. John and the three of us,” he gestured to the men in the room, “dressed up as bodyguards and waited for Sara to arrive. Wally dropped her off at the entrance we planned, we passed the security checks and started escorting her to the Oval Office. Then, well… uhm…” 

“Then… _what_?” Ava looked calm, but Nate’s instinct was telling him to run. _Maybe_ texting her that her ex-girlfriend – whom she still had very obvious unresolved feelings for – had been knocked unconscious during a mission hadn’t been the best of ideas. Ray was taking way too long and Zari wasn’t saying anything. He was going to jump in, get to the point and everything would be alright.

Nate was about to open his mouth when Zari cut him off. By elbowing him in the ribs.  _Ouch!_

“Then… well, Sara’s plan was working without a hitch, but… apparently, our intel was wrong," Zari replied, hesitantly. 

Ray, Mick and Nate’s heads snapped in unison facing Zari, who was so obviously lying to the Director. But why? The plan hadn’t worked at all, _despite_ the intel being solid – so solid the _minute_ of the demon appearing was accurate.

“Yeah. The demon appeared before it was supposed to. In… one of the corridors,” Zari continued with the fake story. Nate started to wonder if she’d gotten the information wrong from one of them, since she hadn’t been there. “It attacked them and Sara was knocked unconscious. Just a mild concussion and a gash on her forehead,” _What about the bullet wounds, Zari?_ Nate thought. “The cut’s not deep. Gideon said it’s not even going to scar. She’s resting now, you can go sit with her if you want.” Zari’s glare to all three of them was pretty eloquent: go along with it or _shut up_.

“What about the demon? And the president?” Ava did look slightly less preoccupied after Zari’s explanation, but Nate was quite sure she was only asking those questions out of a sense of duty. She looked like she wanted to get off the bridge as soon as possible and go be with Sara. Or, at least, that’s how he thought she looked, since that’s what he would have wanted to do had Amaya been in the same situation.

 _“Hello, Director Sharpe. The timeline has been restored. The Legends spooked the demon, which went back into its own dimension. There is no sign it will try again in its endeavor to eat President Kennedy_.”

“Thank you, Gideon. Is Sara ok? Can I go to the med bay?”

“ _Captain Lance needs some rest, but she will make a full recovery. As Miss Tomaz said, she only sustained minor injuries and should be back on her feet in a matter of hours_.” Even Gideon was in on it! I mean, yes, Nate was sure that at least one of the bullets had just grazed Sara’s side, but the one in the shoulder seemed like a pretty serious wound. He was confused. There was really no point in lying to Ava. Was he the one who was not remembering the mission correctly? Had there been another aberration? Had the timeline slightly changed and he was the only one who realized it for some reason? Should he say something or just-

He suddenly remembered the conversation from earlier that morning. He was starting to get it. Ava had told Sara that their plan wasn’t going to work. Gideon and Zari were protecting Sara’s authority as a Captain by _not telling_ Ava that Sara had been shot, because Ava had totally told Sara that her plan was going to get her shot. Which it did, but that was beside the point.

Proud of himself for finally being in on the ‘don’t tell Ava she was right’ plan, he nudged Zari and winked. The woman frowned, looking confused (and a little bit disgusted). He shrugged and grinned, satisfied.

 

“Alright. Tomorrow is my day off,” Ava started. “But if there’s an emergency at the Bureau, can you please direct the call to the med bay?”

“ _Of course, Director_.”

“Thanks, Gideon.”

Ava looked like she was forcing herself not to rush off the bridge to the med bay. She was trying so hard to stay composed, but Nate could see right through her: despite having been reassured Sara was going to be fine – even if through lies – she needed to see it for herself.

As the Director was exiting the room and everyone was starting to relax, Wally walked in excited. He was showing off an expensive looking watch in his hand.

“Hey, guys! I just finished erasing the memories of all the _actual_ security guards,” he exclaimed satisfied. “But look at this sweet souvenir! I mean, I’m sorry Sara got shot and all, but this is so cool! Oh. Hey, Ava!”

Ava froze. She turned around to face them: her icy gaze was back.

From the corner of his eye, Nate saw Mick pretending to be asleep sprawled across the stairs, beer still in his hand, while Ray was backing up against the nearest exit.

Zari was holding her face in both hands and he could’ve sworn Wally just disappeared, no whoosh nor blurred silhouette speeding away. He was just... gone.

 

Now that he too was in on the scam, Nate was just as guilty and just as in trouble. He cursed himself for being too smart for his own good sometimes.

He closed his eyes and gulped.

This was _not_ going to be pleasant for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a fun one to write! Trying to get inside Nate's head is weirdly relaxing.  
> Hope you enjoyed it :)


	4. Chapter 4

IV.

 _“SHE WAS WHAT?”_ She couldn’t believe this team. She couldn’t believe Sara. It was a stupid plan. It was a reckless plan and now Sara was laying in the med bay with who knew how many wounds they hadn’t told her about.

“Ava, please…”

“Don’t, Zari. Just… don’t.” Ava took a deep breath, trying to compose herself, struggling to hide the betrayal she was feeling. “Why did you _lie to me_?”

“I was just trying to…” Zari trailed off, lowering her gaze.

Ava was livid. “Was trying to… _what_ exactly?”

“ _I believe Miss Tomaz was trying to respect Captain Lance’s wishes. As was I.”_

“What do you mean with that? And how bad is she? _Really_?”

“ _Despite our lie on the nature of her wounds, Captain Lance’s condition remains the same as I stated before. She_ will _make a full recovery. Before the sedatives I administered kicked in, she asked Miss Tomaz not to disclose the details of the team’s failure to you_.”

“And why would she do that?”

 _"I haven’t got the faintest idea, Director. You are going to have to ask Captain Lance yourself_.”

Ava was fuming. She took one last glance at the team in front of her and stormed off the bridge into the Waverider’s corridors that would lead her to the med bay.

Lead her to Sara Lance.

Lead her to her ex or whatever ‘something but not girlfriends’ they were right now.

Lead her to the woman who had recklessly gotten herself shot not once but _twice_ , because she wouldn’t listen to her.

Because she wouldn’t trust her.

She was also the woman Ava was undoubtedly furious at, right now.

Yes, she was mad at Gideon and Zari for lying.

Yes, she was mad at the rest of the Legends for sending that stupid text and for just going along with the lie – mostly because it made her feel like, to them, she wasn’t important enough in Sara’s life to know the truth.

Yes, she was insanely angry at Sara, not only for endorsing one of the most foolish plans they’d ever come up with, but because _she_ had been the one to ask Zari to lie to her. _She_ was the one who didn’t think Ava was important enough to know the truth.

But, most importantly, Ava was mad at herself.

She had allowed all of this. Sara was hurt and it was on her too.

She had let her emotions cloud her judgment. Her pride had gotten in the way of convincing the Legends that their plan was never going to work. Her unresolved feelings for Sara had made her cut the conversation short.

She should have tried harder.

She should’ve come over.

She should’ve helped.

Had she, maybe Sara wouldn’t have gotten shot. _Twice_.

 

Lost in though Ava didn’t realize she had passed the med bay door. She went back a few steps and, before entering, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

It didn’t matter how mad at Sara, the Legends or herself she was.

Sara didn’t need that right now. She didn’t need Ava to reprimand her or to tell her everything she had done wrong. She didn’t need Ava asking her why she didn’t want her to know or why she didn’t trust her anymore.

Sara didn’t need to hear about Ava’s insecurities about herself that had been driving her mad for weeks.

 

And, above all, Sara didn’t need Ava’s insecurities about the two of them.

She took in a few long and steady breaths and, having somewhat calmed herself down, Ava walked in.

 

The lights in the med bay were unusually dim. Sara was lying on the reclining chair, her eyes shut. Her face was pale, but Ava realized that during her time at the Bureau she had seen worse. Hell, she had even looked worse herself. Sara’s cheeks were still rosy enough that the woman started to believe that maybe Gideon hadn’t lied to her about everything regarding Sara’s condition.

She grabbed one of the chairs from a corner and placed it beside Sara’s right side. Someone – probably Zari – had taken off the blood stained pastel blue ‘Jackie Kennedy’ dress and brunette wig, that were now sprawled across the floor. Sara was wearing a tracksuit and a sports bra, exposing her torso and the bullet wounds everyone had tried so hard to hide from her. One in the shoulder – it looked nasty – and the other one was a long cut on her ribcage, about an inch below her right breast. A white patch, that was already partially drenched in blood covered the gash on her forehead.

Having made sure that Sara wasn’t in a life-threatening situation, her worry decreased a bit and she started to relax. Which meant, she started to _think._

She started to think about her place on the team. Or, better, how she didn’t have one anymore. She wasn’t Sara’s girlfriend (as Sara herself had stated clearly), she wasn’t a member of the crew, she wasn’t a colleague, she wasn’t a _friend_. The moment she had walked onto the bridge, they had all looked at her like she was some kind of stranger. A stranger who wanted to hurt them. In that moment, Ava had realized that the team had only been nice to her during the time Sara and her dated, probably to make their Captain happy.

They never really cared.

Before the breakup, she had just started to feel comfortable hanging out with the Legends, even when Sara wasn’t around. She thought that, to some extent, she had found a friend in Zari. She had also come to enjoy the weird science and history rants Ray and Nate shared with her over coffee, those few mornings Sara decided to sleep in or go exercise without her.

Not only it was all gone, she wasn’t even sure it was ever real in the first place.

But then again she wasn’t _real_ either, was she?

 

She lowered her head and glanced at Sara’s relaxed features.

Yes, it did sting that it seemed the team had never really considered her a part of anything.

But what hurt most was that _Sara_ had felt the need to hide something from her. Something important. Something life-threatening.

Brushing off a strand of hair from the uninjured side of her forehead, Ava placed her lips on Sara’s skin. It felt warm. It felt nice. It felt _familiar._ Her mind went blank and – for a moment – she forgot about everything.

How could she ever think she would be able to give _this_ up?

They needed to talk.

Soon.

 

Ava smiled and, as she sat down beside Sara, she took the sleeping woman’s right hand and placed it between hers.

As she watched Sara’s chest rise and fall steadily, she let out a sigh and waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank you enough for all your feedback!  
> I'm sorry for this (short and) angsty chapter. I swear the epilogue will pay off.


	5. Chapter 5

The moment she started to regain consciousness, she knew she was in the med bay.

That room just wouldn’t _shut up_.

The Waverider was never really that quiet in the first place - it being a means of time transportation full of electronic bits that were always running some sort of program or update.

But, damn.

She _hated_ the med bay. There were the ventilation system, the beeping sounds of life support, the noise of machinery working in the background, the fabricator's unsteady buzzing that managed to appear louder than the ones in the galley and the dressing room despite it being way smaller. Additionally, because everyone seemed to avoid the room if it wasn't completely necessary, each noise was amplified by the lack of human life that, in contrast, defined the rest of the ship's spaces. 

It was almost maddening sometimes.

 

Sara carefully tried to open her eyes one at a time and she mentally thanked Gideon for remembering to dim the lights this time. She had asked the AI countless times: every time she woke up in that chair, a piercing light stabbed her right in the brain and, since she usually was in there recovering from a mild to severe concussion, she didn’t really enjoy the free subsequent headache that seemed to last for days.

Why was she in here this time?

Her mind was too foggy to really remember and she was possibly still under the effect of whatever Gideon had drugged her with, since she couldn’t really feel her right arm. Moving her head hurt, but she needed to know the condition she was in, before succumbing to unconsciousness for another few hours.

Fighting the urge to just close her eyes and go back to sleep, she managed to move her body enough to check her surroundings: her left shoulder hurt too, great.

Did she break both her arms?

Nah, that wasn’t it.

 

Bullets. Yes, it was bullets.

But not in her arm. Why was her arm numb, then?

She turned her head slightly and caught a glimpse of what looked like long blonde hair sprawled across her arm and partially her abdomen.

With the grogginess wearing off, she started to feel something warm on her right hand and realized someone was… breathing on it?

Her eyes completely adjusted to the already dim light.

 

Sara smiled. It hurt a little to, but she couldn’t help it.

Ava Sharpe, Director of the Time Bureau, wasn't only sleeping _on_ her in what looked like the most uncomfortable position, but she was also hugging her arm with both of hers. Moreover, Sara noticed that she was wearing what she knew were her ‘Book  & Wine Time’ clothes.

She had never looked cuter.

 

“Gideon,” _God_ , her throat felt sore. “Gideon, what time is it?” She whispered, after a couple of shaky tries.

“ _It’s 4:26 am_ ,” the AI answered, somehow having lowered her own volume for once. _“Glad to see you awake, Captain.”_

“Oh, ‘k. Thanks.”

There was no use in waking Ava up and Sara herself was struggling to keep her own eyes open anyway (also, she was just about sure that – the moment she had opened her mouth – Gideon had slipped her another round of sedatives through the IV).

Trying to ignore the noisy room, she focused on the woman’s even breathing and in a matter of minutes she was already asleep again.

 

 

                ***

 

 

It had been three days since the JFK mission. While the gashes on her side and on her forehead had already almost completely healed – she could never be thankful enough for XXII century tech – her shoulder was still giving her a hard time. _Especially_ when she was trying to put on a jacket.

After the fifth try, she decided to give up.

For the third day in a row.

She was benched anyway for at least another few days and, besides, the ship was never really that cold. She rolled her eyes, throwing the jacket across the unmade bed. The tank top she had managed to put on would do just fine. 

 

She heard a delicate knock on the door.

“Come in.”

The doors whooshed open and Sara turned her head to the door. She smiled.

Ava smiled back.

The woman was back in her Bureau uniform, but her hair was loose and falling on her shoulders. _God, she looks beautiful_ , Sara thought instinctively, as she tried to shake the image of the two of them in that very same room not so long ago, in order to form a coherent sentence.

“Hi,” that’s all she managed. _Great job, Sara_.

They hadn’t seen each other – or better _really_ seen – each other since the briefing before the mission. Sara knew Ava had spent the night by her side, but, the second time, she had woken up to Nate and Ray playing _Settlers of Catan_ on the med bay floor. No trace of Ava. There had been an emergency at the Bureau – her teammates had explained – and, now that there was only one Director, Ava had to be the one to respond. It wasn’t long before the two men had called in the whole team, who – in a matter of seconds – was circling her, updating her on everything from the JFK demon having resurfaced in the Sahara Desert in 1933 (where he had been banished to his realm by Constantine, accompanied by a very unenthusiastic Mick), to the fact that the food fabricator had started spilling salted caramel all over the galley’s floor after Wally and Zari had tried making a vegan cheesecake for a girl Wally was crushing on.

As much as it stung, thanks to her team, Sara hadn’t even had the time to register the disappointment she felt when she didn’t wake up with Ava by her side.  

 

“Hi,” Ava remained hesitantly by the door. Looking like she didn’t want to intrude a place that wasn’t hers anymore, despite it having been a space they once shared as _theirs_.

Sara was aware that they had some issues.

Issues they needed to discuss.

Soon.

Was this too soon?

Why was Ava here? Did she want to talk? Or to check on her? Was this work related? Of course, it was work related. She screwed up and Ava was obviously here to tell her off. Or, maybe, she wasn’t? _Oh, screw it_ -

Sara hurried closer to the woman and, standing on her tiptoes, softly placed her lips on Ava’s, placing her hands on the other woman's neck. She lingered for a few seconds, her eyes shut and her legs trembling with built up emotion.

With a lump in her throat that felt the size of a small toad, she broke contact and stepped back. 

 

Sara opened her eyes and noticed Ava was standing there, her features overtaken by a dumbfounded expression.

"What, uhm,” Ava swallowed, confusion still reigning on her face. “What was that for?”

“I, uh. I don’t know, actually,” Sara admitted.  _I don't know? Seriously?_ , she thought as she sat on the bed. 

She felt... _defeated_.

Why was she like this?

Why couldn’t she just tell her how she still felt?

She just kept screwing up.

Ava walked up to her and sat beside Sara, taking one of the other woman’s hand in hers. “Hey,” Sara didn't look up and, even though she felt like she didn’t deserve it, took comfort in Ava's small display of affection. “Hey,” Ava repeated. She lifted Sara’s chin with one of her fingers so that now the Captain was forced to look into her eyes. “Is everything ok?”

Sara nodded.

 

Ava tilted her head slightly, raising an eyebrow.

She was absolutely having none of it.

It was hard. It was risky. It was painful, but Sara decided that she wouldn’t lie anymore. It wasn’t fair to her or to Ava.

“Alright," She took in a deep breath. "No, it’s not.” Ava didn’t intervene, didn’t interrupt her. Just waited for her to continue in her own time. “I’m sorry, Ava.”

“Sorry for what?”

Sara chuckled.

 _Sorry for breaking up with you? Sorry for ignoring you? Sorry of dropping the ‘I love you’ bomb and then not following up on it? Sorry for not listening to you? Sorry for having my team lie to you? Sorry for ruining Book & Wine Time?_ Where was she even supposed to begin?

 

“I’m sorry for being stubborn,” _That probably covers_ some _of it_ , Sara thought.

Ava let out a hearty laugh. “Seriously?” She closed her eyes and sighed, the smile never leaving her expression.

Sara was… _confused_. Ava slowly threw her arm across her shoulder, careful not to brush against the bandage covering the bullet wound. Sara leaned in closer as Ava rested her head on top of her own.

It felt… nice.

 

“So, you’re not mad?”

“Of course, I’m mad!” Sara’s gaze shot up to meet Ava’s. “I told you you were going to get shot!”

“I didn’t get shot,” Ava raised a questioning eyebrow. “Ray got himself shot, I just jumped in between him and _his_ bullets.”

“Will _anyone_ ever tell me the straight version of what actually happened on that mission?”

“Nah,” Sara shook her head and moved deeper into Ava’s embrace. “But I _am_ sorry I asked Zari not to tell you the truth.”

 

“Why did you?” Sara could hear the tremble in Ava’s voice and wasn’t sure what that meant.

“I…” She hesitated. She was scared, but she knew had to make things right. “When I called you for advice, it was because I was insecure… About the plan, I mean,” she paused, trying to feel Ava’s reaction from her body stirring against her own. “I _did_ believe it was going to work, but I wasn’t really sure. It’s just… when you said it wouldn’t, I got… stubborn. More stubborn than usual. I was stupid and I put my team in danger.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you didn’t want me to know.”

“I didn’t want you to think I was… incompetent,” Sara let out a breath and Ava held her closer, softly squeezing her arm. The stitches in her shoulder were pulling and stinging, but she didn’t really care. “I should’ve listened to you.”

Sara felt Ava pulling away and her heart sunk for a moment.

 

Still sitting on the bed, they were now a few inches apart and Ava was looking at her directly in the eyes. It seemed like she was trying to gather her thoughts, find the right words, but the wait was killing Sara, whose mind started to go through all the possible catastrophic scenarios.

After a short pause that felt like an eternity, Ava began. “You are a brilliant Captain, Sara Lance. After getting to know you, after seeing what you and your team can do, I could never again think you’re incompetent. Yes, we started on the wrong foot. Yes, we still don't always see eye to eye. Yes, you don’t follow _any sort_ of rules or protocol and that drives me _insane_. But you think outside the box and, the same way my strict rule-following plans don't always work, not all of yours can. That’s why we decided to have the Legends and the Bureau cooperate. So, we can help better each other.”

Sara nodded. Ava was right. That was the whole point of the deal they made to update each other before and after big missions. 

 

After a brief pause, Ava added, “And, anyway, I’m sorry too, you know?”

“Sorry for what?” Sara was baffled, but could see in Ava’s expression traces of the same guilt and uncertainty she had been feeling for a long time.  

“I shouldn’t have belittled your plan in front of your team. I should’ve helped you find a better solution, instead… I ran away.” Ava lowered her gaze. Sara knew where she was getting at. “ _Again_. I ran away again and I’m sorry. I have a habit of doing that. It needs to stop.”

 

Sara squeezed Ava’s hand, not really knowing what more to say. The two women kept looking at each other and, almost at the same time, closed the space between them in a very soft and very gentle kiss.

They hadn’t done that in a while.

Sara started to melt into the warmth and the familiarity of a kind of affection that had little to do with passion and a lot to do with all the bottled-up feelings she had been ignoring (or trying to ignore) for months.  

They moved streadily, gently, in unison. Never wanting to overpower the other.

They slowly deepened the kiss, but it was tender and loving and everything Sara had been missing.  

They broke apart from each other, for once not gasping for air. Their hearts pounding, but not because of strain or insecurity. It wasn't even craving. Sara didn’t really want to put her finger on what it was exactly that she was feeling, but she had a pretty decent idea of what it could become. They lingered for a few moments, holding each other’s faces in the palms of their hands, their eyes locked and both their mouths curved up in very different but equally serene smiles.

They had a lot more to solve and to talk about, but now that they had sorted out a few of their issues, they were at least starting to build the foundations back up.

 

Sara kissed one of Ava’s palms and chuckled.

“What?” Ava queried, maintaining her smile as bright as Sara's. 

“I think I haven’t been completely honest about everything. I… I have something else to admit,” Sara knew relationships weren’t the only field in which her stubbornness came into play. She glanced at the leather jacket on the bed. “Could you help me put that on? I have been _freezing_ for three days.”

 

//

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, commenting and leaving kudos!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the ride!


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